About not being strong enough (sometimes)…

About not being strong enough (sometimes)… I think that the subject that I will talk about today is not new to anyone – and perhaps many of you do not understand the reason of this text. The truth is that there are times in life that we need to talk, so, today’s post is nothing but a sincere talking. After all, I share so many things here, right? For some people, externalize feelings into words is a good outlet – and stress relief. Nice to meet you, I am one of those people. In fact, this is the second attempt to write this post – the first was kindly censored by a dear friend, who alerted me to the aggressiveness that I could not disguise.

You probably know that working with people is not easy. I think it’s something with ups and downs. That’s because, while it gives you the opportunity to reach with wonderful people, full of positive energy, also ends up bringing the burden of having to deal with some people, who, shall we say, are not the most pleasant human beings. Normally, they would not be be part of your life – but again, because of work, you must tolerate. The reason I’m saying this should be clear by now, right? I work with people: I offer a service here, on YouTube, Facebook group, on Instagram, from person to person. For people who want to come to New York, for people who like stories of living abroad or for people who simply like what I do. I have wonderful interactions: believe, know that my work helps a trip or inspire someone’s life is wonderful.

However – and unfortunately – is no secret to anyone at this time, that we live in a digital age, the Internet has become stronghold of much unloved people and unscrupulous. Luckily, this type of person is no majority in my day to day – but, as was inevitable, sometimes you have to deal with it. Even if on a smaller scale. I think we already realized that, unfortunately, there are people who, because they are protected by a computer screen and provided with a keyboard (or tablet, or smartphone), lose their scruples, common sense and empathy with each other. First of all, we need to make something clear: Criticism is one thing. Lose respect is something else. I confess that I am not a person who deals easily with critical – and I can even have already shown this it at some point, but I know I’m progressing and has already improved a lot, thankfully. After all, is not worth to get stressed, right? I learned that you need to know to filter everything that affects you.

But our filters don’t always work right – and we are not always in a good mood. After all, no matter how many people may believe that living in New York is a paradise and get rid of problems, this is not the truth. Like any other human being, I’m flesh and blood, I have feelings and real blood. Turning to the issue of criticism, it is worth remembering that no one is obliged to like nothing, either to agree with everything. Most societies in the world are “free”, so everybody can have a opinion. But, in my view, there is a basic premise for everything in life: education. Unfortunately this is not the most striking feature of the behaviors we see out there on the internet. The pleasure of a few people is to distill poison, frustration and low pour words in comments that become true offenses. At these times, it doesn’t matter if there is a person of flesh and blood on the other side who will read that comment. Here, the question is: does all this courage would hold a face to face conversation? Well, I doubt many people would say in real life what is said on the internet.

Lately, it seems that the fact that you get exposed on the internet carries the burden of having to endure this kind of behavior from some people who have forgotten what is respect. Then you are required to read comments that grieve, offend and to judge his character – “dazzled Brazilian”. Come here, do you know me? Why people think they can judge someone’s life? But if my conscience knows my character, why do I get upset? As I said earlier, sometimes I am not strong enough. Me, you, neighbors, your teacher, your uncle, my friends: no one appreciates the fact of being offended. And it’s not because I’m developing a job that exposes more than other types of jobs that I have to accept it in good. Believe me: be polite is not easy, many times. .

I know that you can not please everybody. Nor do I have this pretense, because I would die without achieving that goal. But I will give a very clear example, what happens when I talk about life abroad. If you criticize something here, someone  says: damn, you’re complaining, and what about Brazil, that is bad now? If you speak badly of Brazil: dazzled patricinha. There is is the lack of interpretation. You see, I had read comments that criticized the fact that I use a pronoun that exists and is very present in the conversations in South of Brazil. At the same time,  a person calls formality of you in spoken language as well as in writing, when this person  did not know how to use a  verb with a pronoun in his commentary written full of arrogance and air of “I know everything.” When you point a finger at someone, you are pointing four more in your own direction. So, I think is not too much to ask consistency and common sense. Did you not like it? But why? What’s good to add? Sometimes it is better to be silent.

Incidentally, the need to have an opinion about everything in the world sometimes reaches an unbelievable point. Let me give an example. The other day I published a tip from an unusual dish in New York: french fries with chocolate. I had to read comments like: “this can only be a joke” or worse “this is nonsense! Since when US has a culinary tradition!?”. So I ask: someone is forcing people to eat the french fries with chocolate? Silence can be a gift. Oh, and crying is free.

Obrigada a todos os leitores bacanas por fazerem parte da minha vida!